Meet Your Future President

Hello. Do you remember the young lady who came into the living rooms of America and confused the hell out of us with her knowledge of geography? I'm referring to this one:



Frankly, I worried about her. I wondered who would ever hire her if she happened to graduate. How could she survive? Then I remembered that we already had a cheerleader in the White House--and he wasn't exactly the brightest bulb in the box.

Now, we have this genius:


And she may be dumber than a doorstop, but she's always cheerful:


So, the good news is, I'm not worried about Miss South Carolina surviving. The bad news is that I'm scared for the future of this country and embarrassed for women everywhere.