Due to the fact that I don't know anything about football, I don't watch the Super Bowl--which means I may be one of the last people in America to hear about the annual controversies. The Janey Jackson thing? I heard about it three days later from an old co-worker who was just a little too excited that many days after the show. Calm down, Grandpa! It was just a woman.
That's why this year, I had no idea about the Dodge commercial that may have been offensive or just plain stupid, but still managed to inspire a video response. I had to watch it on YouTube when some friends had posted the women's response.
My first reaction was that of annoyance. I mean, really? Walking your dog and eating fruit for your own well being needs a reward? Is carrying lip balm in your pocket is that much of a burden? Or perhaps, holding down a job is so difficult that you need a car that goes vroom vroom to make you feel better about your life (and if so, will a car actually make you feel better)? The implication being that men suffer so because of the women in their lives. Which makes one wonder, why the hell do they stick around to live life as soulless zombies? Are they masochists or just passive-aggressive?
But the more I thought about it, the more I was offended. For my male friends. Most of the men I know are responsible, work hard and enjoy the company of their companions. Sure they have their toys and make fun of our love of jewelery or shoes, but they're not whiners. I come from a family of men who had plenty of faults, but whining about waking up at 6:30 was not one of them. (Actually, both my grandfathers always woke up before four every morning to go to work; did manual labor for more than fourteen hours a day; each raised five children and worked into their 60s. I'm pretty sure I never heard either of them complain about eating fruit with their breakfast.) So I'm left to wonder, what do men think about the commercial? Do you really resent your partners so much? Is your only refuge your attention getting car? Or do you find it insulting to be called entitled man-children whose only escape in life is expensive toys?
Now, in the interest of fairness, I'll link/post the response to the original commercial, which addresses the original as a bunch of annoying children. Quite appropriate:
Showing posts with label Stupidity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stupidity. Show all posts
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Only Stupid People Are Breeding
Below is an excerpt from a recent conversation:
'Hi GWCH! Look what I brought you!'
'Oh, what a pretty wedding invitation. Who is it for?'
'A Pakistanian guy. Do you know him?'
'I don't know. I have a few Pakistani friends, but don't think I know this groom.'
'Can you read the invitation?'
'No, I can't read Urdu. I know Farsi and a little bit of Arabic.'
'That's too bad that your parents didn't teach you Pakistanian.'
(Confused look on my face.)
'It's just that I thought you'd be proud of your Pakistanian heritage and all. You know, because you were talking about stuff that is going on over there for the last couple of weeks.'
(Trying to bite my tongue and not call her an idiot): 'Oh, no. I'm from Iran. I'm Iranian--some people say Persian. It's the same thing. We speak Farsi (also known as Persian). Pakistanis speak Urdu which has a similar alphabet and some shared words, but they're actually different languages.'
'Oh. So, you're not Pakistanian?'
(Me calmly nodding no, trying not to scream that there is no such thing as Pakistanian.)
'Huh. Maybe that's why I was confused and thought you were Indian. Do you know Indian?'
And that is the story of why I have welts in my mouth. And why I'm considering quitting my job and becoming a History and Geography teacher. God knows I can't make the kids any dumber.
Oh--and this lady has four kids, the first two of which she home schooled for a few years.
'Hi GWCH! Look what I brought you!'
'Oh, what a pretty wedding invitation. Who is it for?'
'A Pakistanian guy. Do you know him?'
'I don't know. I have a few Pakistani friends, but don't think I know this groom.'
'Can you read the invitation?'
'No, I can't read Urdu. I know Farsi and a little bit of Arabic.'
'That's too bad that your parents didn't teach you Pakistanian.'
(Confused look on my face.)
'It's just that I thought you'd be proud of your Pakistanian heritage and all. You know, because you were talking about stuff that is going on over there for the last couple of weeks.'
(Trying to bite my tongue and not call her an idiot): 'Oh, no. I'm from Iran. I'm Iranian--some people say Persian. It's the same thing. We speak Farsi (also known as Persian). Pakistanis speak Urdu which has a similar alphabet and some shared words, but they're actually different languages.'
'Oh. So, you're not Pakistanian?'
(Me calmly nodding no, trying not to scream that there is no such thing as Pakistanian.)
'Huh. Maybe that's why I was confused and thought you were Indian. Do you know Indian?'
And that is the story of why I have welts in my mouth. And why I'm considering quitting my job and becoming a History and Geography teacher. God knows I can't make the kids any dumber.
Oh--and this lady has four kids, the first two of which she home schooled for a few years.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Meet Your Future President
Hello. Do you remember the young lady who came into the living rooms of America and confused the hell out of us with her knowledge of geography? I'm referring to this one:
Frankly, I worried about her. I wondered who would ever hire her if she happened to graduate. How could she survive? Then I remembered that we already had a cheerleader in the White House--and he wasn't exactly the brightest bulb in the box.
Now, we have this genius:
And she may be dumber than a doorstop, but she's always cheerful:
So, the good news is, I'm not worried about Miss South Carolina surviving. The bad news is that I'm scared for the future of this country and embarrassed for women everywhere.
Frankly, I worried about her. I wondered who would ever hire her if she happened to graduate. How could she survive? Then I remembered that we already had a cheerleader in the White House--and he wasn't exactly the brightest bulb in the box.
Now, we have this genius:
And she may be dumber than a doorstop, but she's always cheerful:
So, the good news is, I'm not worried about Miss South Carolina surviving. The bad news is that I'm scared for the future of this country and embarrassed for women everywhere.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Arugula: Food of Elitists
I used to think that I came from a humble background. I am the kind of person who knows how many homes I have, my credit limit and my cash assets within a $50 error of margin. I never thought I would be considered an 'elitist'. Come to find out, my familiarity with the fruits and vegetables in the grocery store make me an elitist dilettante of some sort. Who knew?
It seems the down to earth, humble folk like my co-worker and her presidential candidate (who has lost count of his homes) have a special elitist test--a litmus test of sorts. Apparently, if you wave a few arugula leaves in front of someone and they don't run and hide, they are a bona fide elitist. See, humble folk like John McCain and George Bush may seem like millionaires many times over, because of their expensive shoes and million dollar 'cabins', but they don't touch the arugula. They stock their refridgerators with non-fancy foods like iceberg lettuce, Pabst Blue Ribbon (no foreign beers like Budwieser) and real American cheese. Only out of touch elitsts would know about arugula and how to use it.
On a serious note, can someone please explain the following to me:
1) Why do Republicans hate arugula so much? I mean as far as leafy greens go, it's fairly innocent. Why not hate on Swiss chard--at least it sounds much more elitist.
2) How can a guy with more houses than he can keep track of, a monthly credit card bill higher than five years of my pre-tax income and an heiress wife call someone raised on food stamps an elitist with a straight face?
3) Why do politians think we're stupid? Seriously? If you have nothing better to talk about than Paris Hilton and salad greens, you're not ready to lead anyone, anywhere.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Everybody Knows, the World Is Full of Stupid People
The last two days have been trying my patience. Yes, you're right, patience has never been one of my virtues--so you can imagine how delightful I am when I people go out of their way to test my patience. The worst part is, they weren't confined to one place. EVERY call I made yesterday and today spiraled into new circles of hell. I won't bore you with the story of the travel agent that yelled at me for telling her the numbers on our receipt didn't add up before she hung up on me. Nor will I bore you with the story of the lady at the bank who told me there was no way to prove an electronic payment had been processed. I will start with the crazy woman who started all of this.
I called our HOA to ask them why they keep sending me statements with past due fees and multiple monthly charges when I make my payments each month. After getting passed around to everyone in their building, I was eventually 'helped' by Cathy. Below is a sample of our conversation:
"Hi Cathy. My bank statement indicates that I have made my monthly payments on time, but every month, my statement has late fees."
"Ok. Do you have the canceled check to prove you made the payment?"
"Well, no. I make pre-scheduled electronic payments each month."
"So you don't have a check number or canceled check?"
"No, it's an electronic payment that get's deposited to the HOA's account each month. I've been doing the same thing for the past four years."
"Well ma'am, if you haven't sent a check on time you will be charged late fees. Do you need the address to send us the check?"
"No, Cathy. I have already sent my payment electronically. There seems to be a misunderstanding. What kind of documentation do you need me to provide you to remove these charges."
"Ma'am, if you haven't paid, we can't remove the charges. If you had sent us a check--which you say you haven't--you would have to provide a copy of the front and back of the canceled check."
"Well, how do you handle electronic payments?"
"MA'AM, you need to send us a copy of the the front and back of the canceled check. Otherwise, you have to pay your monthly fees, plus any extra late fees."
(As a side note, I was quite irritated early in the discussion, especially since one of my co-workers kept laughing at my explanations.)
"But Cathy, there is no canceled check. I'll have to ask the bank for some kind of document. Could you please tell me what I can provide to resolve this problem?"
"I have already told you, you need to send a copy of the front and back of the check you say you have sent us."
Breathe.
"I see. So once I get that document, should I mail it, fax it or email it to you?"
"Yes."
"Which one?"
"The front and back of the canceled check."
"So a copy of the canceled check emailed to you?"
"Front and back to us immediately."
"Thanks, Cathy."
It was around this time that I missed having the old fashioned phones that you could bang on the holder. This woman literally made me wonder how she has made it alive to her workplace. I mean, don't you think she would have died trying to figure out the toaster?
The worst part? Of all of the people I have spoken to since talking with her yesterday, she wasn't the dumbest or the rudest. Do you feel my pain?
I am hoping my week gets better, but I'm not very optimistic.
I called our HOA to ask them why they keep sending me statements with past due fees and multiple monthly charges when I make my payments each month. After getting passed around to everyone in their building, I was eventually 'helped' by Cathy. Below is a sample of our conversation:
"Hi Cathy. My bank statement indicates that I have made my monthly payments on time, but every month, my statement has late fees."
"Ok. Do you have the canceled check to prove you made the payment?"
"Well, no. I make pre-scheduled electronic payments each month."
"So you don't have a check number or canceled check?"
"No, it's an electronic payment that get's deposited to the HOA's account each month. I've been doing the same thing for the past four years."
"Well ma'am, if you haven't sent a check on time you will be charged late fees. Do you need the address to send us the check?"
"No, Cathy. I have already sent my payment electronically. There seems to be a misunderstanding. What kind of documentation do you need me to provide you to remove these charges."
"Ma'am, if you haven't paid, we can't remove the charges. If you had sent us a check--which you say you haven't--you would have to provide a copy of the front and back of the canceled check."
"Well, how do you handle electronic payments?"
"MA'AM, you need to send us a copy of the the front and back of the canceled check. Otherwise, you have to pay your monthly fees, plus any extra late fees."
(As a side note, I was quite irritated early in the discussion, especially since one of my co-workers kept laughing at my explanations.)
"But Cathy, there is no canceled check. I'll have to ask the bank for some kind of document. Could you please tell me what I can provide to resolve this problem?"
"I have already told you, you need to send a copy of the front and back of the check you say you have sent us."
Breathe.
"I see. So once I get that document, should I mail it, fax it or email it to you?"
"Yes."
"Which one?"
"The front and back of the canceled check."
"So a copy of the canceled check emailed to you?"
"Front and back to us immediately."
"Thanks, Cathy."
It was around this time that I missed having the old fashioned phones that you could bang on the holder. This woman literally made me wonder how she has made it alive to her workplace. I mean, don't you think she would have died trying to figure out the toaster?
The worst part? Of all of the people I have spoken to since talking with her yesterday, she wasn't the dumbest or the rudest. Do you feel my pain?
I am hoping my week gets better, but I'm not very optimistic.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
It's Madness I Tell You! MADNESS!
I'm watching whatever the ABC Sunday morning 'political' show is and I am amazed (I don't know why at this point) at the stupidity of the people who are on this show. George Stephanopolis, Sam Donaldson, Cokie Roberts and George Will are not only defending the atrocity of what they are referring to as a 'debate' in Pennsylvania but are repeating the non-sense that people a) understand the Constitution (really?) and b) they vote with their guts (WHY?!?!) . Of course, all of these issues are hugely convenient for them. Not just them specifically, but for all political 'journalists'.
The incredibly sad (pathetic, infuriating...) reality is that Americans do not understand the Constitution. If they did, we would not be tearing down the wall that exists between Church and State; we would not be forking over more and more unchecked powers to the executive branch and relegate the legislative and judicial branches to being cheerleaders of whatever the executive wants to do; they would not be sitting around blithely as their government tortures prisoners and uses propaganda to rename it 'enhanced interrogation techniques'; and they would understand the concept of the Women's Suffrage Movement before they signed petitions to end it.
Secondly, if Americans do vote with their guts, why are you glorifying and encouraging it? Sure, people voted for Bush because they thought he would be fun to have a pint of beer with--but I'm also pretty sure they ignored the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic whose judgment would be impaired if they did spend that kind of quality time together. And while I think the person who represents us collectively on the world stage should be representative of us, I would prefer he spoke the language and had rudimentary understand of world issues before he set foot on that stage. A man who graduated from some of the finest universities in this country and still managed to resist learning anything, is not that person. Nor is he 'regular' folk if his daddy, granddaddy and every generation before him has been part of the power elite of this country for at least 100 years back, if not further. Even if one of us wanted to share a pint of beer with him, he probably wouldn't waste his time with us lowly folk. On a related note, the concept of a democracy is to pick the best person to do the job; someone who has good judgment, wisdom and hopefully some ethics. 'Democracy' isn't a fancy word for popularity contest, and our government is not high school. We should not be voting for the cheerleader and the jock, we should be at least paying attention to the nerds and the debate teams who will be able to get our sorry asses out of a mess if we start drowning in it.
And now, back to the Idiots at the Round Table:
George S., you can't comment on the fairness of the 'debate' when you were the major screw up who took lessons from Sean Hannity. I don't say things like this often, but please, just shut the fuck up.
George W., I can appreciate your distaste for Obama, even if it is solely on party principle. But if not him, are you endorsing the forgetful geriatric who wants to suspend gas taxes that fund our roads, bridges and infrastructures? I'm sure you stay awake at night wondering about bridges collapsing during your commute to work or your city being washed away for lack of federal funding to maintain dams. I don't understand much about economics, but I think I won't vote for the guy who says economics isn't his thing.
Sam, please focus on your hair since you have a hard time understanding anything else. People aren't 'shooting the messenger' because they didn't like the questions that were asked at the 'debate'. They are shooting the messenger because the messenger was on crack and not delivering the message while the city is burning. Pick on Obama, but not on his name, neighbors' independent activities, his estranged father's religion or lapel accessories. And while you're at it, also pick on Clinton's political opportunism, lies and fantasies. And ask McCain a few questions about his favorite pastors who insist on killing my people in the name of their religion, his inability to distinguish Sunni vs Shia (which probably contributes to his inability to grasp the difference between Al-Qaida and the Sadr militia and Iran's government) and his insane idea that we can occupy a country for 100 years without consequences. No hurry, you can ask him your questions after the BBQ.
Cokie, if you're riding around in the President's limo on his way to see the Pope, you will not have anything objective to say about anything related to this President. Keep talking about the blabbering idiot's 'excitement' about seeing the Pope, and not the fact that the Pope actually condemned this country's aggression repeatedly during his visit. The reason your car pool companion was so sanguine is because he is too stupid to understand that his guest is calling him an ass hole.
Newseum Building, I'm sorry to say I'm praying for your spontaneous combustion because you represent all that is absurd, lazy and stupid about what we collectively refer to as 'The Press'. We have no use for you or what you represent, until 'The News' is more than a bunch of obnoxious noise delivered by monitor readers and overpaid pundits who are too lazy to do anything but pat each other on the back and regurgitate what is fed to them. Until then, there is no 'News', just bull shit. And we already have a place for that, thankyouverymuch.
And now that I got that out of my system, I need to flip over to CNN and see what Wolf Blitzer and the self-anointed "Best Political Team on Television" (TM) have to say for themselves this weekend.
The incredibly sad (pathetic, infuriating...) reality is that Americans do not understand the Constitution. If they did, we would not be tearing down the wall that exists between Church and State; we would not be forking over more and more unchecked powers to the executive branch and relegate the legislative and judicial branches to being cheerleaders of whatever the executive wants to do; they would not be sitting around blithely as their government tortures prisoners and uses propaganda to rename it 'enhanced interrogation techniques'; and they would understand the concept of the Women's Suffrage Movement before they signed petitions to end it.
Secondly, if Americans do vote with their guts, why are you glorifying and encouraging it? Sure, people voted for Bush because they thought he would be fun to have a pint of beer with--but I'm also pretty sure they ignored the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic whose judgment would be impaired if they did spend that kind of quality time together. And while I think the person who represents us collectively on the world stage should be representative of us, I would prefer he spoke the language and had rudimentary understand of world issues before he set foot on that stage. A man who graduated from some of the finest universities in this country and still managed to resist learning anything, is not that person. Nor is he 'regular' folk if his daddy, granddaddy and every generation before him has been part of the power elite of this country for at least 100 years back, if not further. Even if one of us wanted to share a pint of beer with him, he probably wouldn't waste his time with us lowly folk. On a related note, the concept of a democracy is to pick the best person to do the job; someone who has good judgment, wisdom and hopefully some ethics. 'Democracy' isn't a fancy word for popularity contest, and our government is not high school. We should not be voting for the cheerleader and the jock, we should be at least paying attention to the nerds and the debate teams who will be able to get our sorry asses out of a mess if we start drowning in it.
And now, back to the Idiots at the Round Table:
George S., you can't comment on the fairness of the 'debate' when you were the major screw up who took lessons from Sean Hannity. I don't say things like this often, but please, just shut the fuck up.
George W., I can appreciate your distaste for Obama, even if it is solely on party principle. But if not him, are you endorsing the forgetful geriatric who wants to suspend gas taxes that fund our roads, bridges and infrastructures? I'm sure you stay awake at night wondering about bridges collapsing during your commute to work or your city being washed away for lack of federal funding to maintain dams. I don't understand much about economics, but I think I won't vote for the guy who says economics isn't his thing.
Sam, please focus on your hair since you have a hard time understanding anything else. People aren't 'shooting the messenger' because they didn't like the questions that were asked at the 'debate'. They are shooting the messenger because the messenger was on crack and not delivering the message while the city is burning. Pick on Obama, but not on his name, neighbors' independent activities, his estranged father's religion or lapel accessories. And while you're at it, also pick on Clinton's political opportunism, lies and fantasies. And ask McCain a few questions about his favorite pastors who insist on killing my people in the name of their religion, his inability to distinguish Sunni vs Shia (which probably contributes to his inability to grasp the difference between Al-Qaida and the Sadr militia and Iran's government) and his insane idea that we can occupy a country for 100 years without consequences. No hurry, you can ask him your questions after the BBQ.
Cokie, if you're riding around in the President's limo on his way to see the Pope, you will not have anything objective to say about anything related to this President. Keep talking about the blabbering idiot's 'excitement' about seeing the Pope, and not the fact that the Pope actually condemned this country's aggression repeatedly during his visit. The reason your car pool companion was so sanguine is because he is too stupid to understand that his guest is calling him an ass hole.
Newseum Building, I'm sorry to say I'm praying for your spontaneous combustion because you represent all that is absurd, lazy and stupid about what we collectively refer to as 'The Press'. We have no use for you or what you represent, until 'The News' is more than a bunch of obnoxious noise delivered by monitor readers and overpaid pundits who are too lazy to do anything but pat each other on the back and regurgitate what is fed to them. Until then, there is no 'News', just bull shit. And we already have a place for that, thankyouverymuch.
And now that I got that out of my system, I need to flip over to CNN and see what Wolf Blitzer and the self-anointed "Best Political Team on Television" (TM) have to say for themselves this weekend.
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