Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Things I Don't Understand

After a ridiculously long quest for The Perfect Lipstick (and by ridiculously long, I mean a whole YEAR), I now have time to ponder some of the things that have been said and seen recently which I just don't understand:
  • Who will buy Danielle , by Danielle Steel? It scares and confuses me to know that people read her books. Now people want to smell like her characters? What will this scent say about you? That you're a morally upright, yet sexy woman waiting for a rich man overcome socio-economic barriers to find you and swear he cannot live without you?
  • Why are our expectations for presidential candidates so low? I was listening to NPR on Friday, and someone was saying how Fred Thompson was the first truly folksy candidate to through his hat into the ring. Apparently, Thompson will be stepping into Ronald Regan's big, folksy shoes as no other candidate has to this point. Really? Is that all we want from a candidate? Bad acting skills and pretending to be an 'Aw shucks' kind of a guy? Have we learned NOTHING? Look where that got us last time we selected for ordinariness? To paraphrase Bill Mahr, I want a president that is smarter than me. I don't want to drink beer with him (especially if he is a recovering alcoholic), I don't want to hang out with her/him and have her/him pretend like s/he has something in common with me. I want a president who will have something intelligent to say about what is going on in the world. I want someone who can string together a sentence in a language, any language, without sounding like the village idiot who strayed onto the world podium. I am pretty sure 'folksy' is not the quality we should be looking for this time around.
  • If you've ever visited the American Museum of Natural History, and thought to yourself, "This is just a bunch of heathen hogwash" or just felt isolated because science does not support your special interpretation of how we got to this point, take heart! The Creation Museum is the place for you. For the price of a ticket to Petersburg, KY and admission, you can see how the world was created in six days, with a day left for God to rest. After all, being omnipotent, doesn't mean creating the universe isn't exhausting. You will be able to see how Adam and Eve lived with the dinosaurs before they sinned. Every complicated question you have about the universe, biology and natural history will be answered referencing the Bible and books like Evolution Exposed. In case you think these people don't have enough books to fill a library with insanity, check out these gems. And all of these seem to go very well with the flier in my mail box last week, inviting me to study 'real' astronomy and learn that the earth is not in fact rotating around the sun. Apparently, there are a bunch of people who think the issue of the heliocentrism is another atheistic plot.
  • In other Genesis citing news, the former Sephardi Chief Rabbi advocated collective punishment for all of Gaza's inhabitants, as "the whole city holds collective responsibility" for the bombing of Sderot. Since there seemed to be some confusion, his son, also a Chief Rabbi, clarified and said it would be immoral for the IDF to launch a ground offensive as it will put soldiers in danger. Carpet bombing Gaza's more than 1.5 million people however, is ethical. Yay!
  • Unfortunately, some people don't know where to draw the line and act professionally in the work environment. While they are the reason people like me have to sit through five hours of harassment training, some people are thinking outside the box and are find more 'interesting' solutions. Their solution is more complicated, as women would have to get pregnant, give birth and raise a child in order to establish a semi-familial bond with a co-worker. Almost makes the harassment training sound fun. By the way, what I'm really thinking right now, is WTF?!?!
  • The best thing about going through five hours of harassment training, is the free bagels and lunch. The worst part? Thinking the people who were the cause of everyone going through harassment training, would learn to stop harassing you after they left the presentation. WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE? I could learn by example of course, and do everything I was just told not to do...
  • I personally have nothing against lawyers. I still occasionally think of becoming a lawyer myself--then remember how I suffered through my last academic experience. However, I'm thinking there are some really stupid judges out there. And why hasn't he been disbarred yet?
I just want to repeat, I have no intention of insulting people of any faith, profession or even reading preference. However, I just keep thinking, we are not that smart as a species. I'm amazed we have made it this far. Holy crap, I just disproved evolution!

Now that I have sufficiently scared myself, and have still not gotten any closer to understanding insane people of every walk of life I'm going to try to go to sleep.


George said...

This damn thing won't take my comments.

Anonymous said...

I, personally, was truly disturbed at the state of the world when I realized that there was in fact an Intellegent Design for Dummies book. (Don't try to ponder that, it will make your brain hurt).

Anonymous said...

the part about the creation museum is funny and well written. you have a good sense of humor.

Anonymous said...

interesting...good luck with your writing