Saturday, May 3, 2008

Coffee v. Orange Juice: The Mature Choice

I like to think of myself as relatively intelligent. Actually, that thought depresses me a little, because I know a lot of people around me who are much more intelligent on every level: emotional, intellect and practical. I may be the one who brings the average down. So you would think that I would be happy to know there are people out there that make me seem like a genius. People like Ben Stein for example, who make my grasp of science seem mind-bogglingly complex. Or people like this idiot who judge a person's maturity by the beverage that person consumes in the morning.

I know there are different standards for measuring maturity. I will even admit to being a bit of a judgmental snob. But if we apply the standards of the article that coffee drinkers are more mature than orange juice drinkers (I know, just suspend any intelligent thought and just go with it), wouldn't that mean that alcohol would be a more mature beverage than both? And using that standard, wouldn't we have to elect an alcoholic to prove that someone is no longer childish?

Oh, wait. We DID that already. Twice. And everything worked out just fine.

Thanks/Blame to Andrew Sullivan for bringing such insanity to light.


Pea said...

I regularly have OJ and coffee for breakfast. By this gentleman's genius twist of logic, do I now have multiple personalities? Am I a woman/child?

Uh oh... that last thought put that Britney song in my head... I'm-not-a-girl-not-yet-a-woman.

Girl With Curious Hair said...

Yes, by these standards, you're a Split Pea.

Drinker of many beverages said...

I think you may be overthinking this. Regardless of whether the author believes orange juice is truly childish, I think the introduction regarding the beverage choice served its purpose as an effective hook. Even though I might disagree with the article's sentiment, I think its beginning presented the topic very well.