Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Hair Tip of the Day

Irons are for clothing, linens and drapes, not for hair.

Resist the urge to listen to your roommate's slightly inebriated cousin who has just returned from Nogales, no matter how much she insists she knows how to style hair. When you see her plug in an iron that is older than your roommate, politely grab your id and find refuge in another dorm room until the effects of alcohol have worn off. Laying your head down close to the ironing board and asking her to be careful will not protect your scalp from the searing, hot metal. Especially if she doesn't have a good grasp of English, and you don't speak a lick of Spanish. If you have not left the room at this point, frankly nothing will save your scalp.

Now it may be tempting to think back to your childhood/adolescence when your aunt regaled you with stories of her tresses. Block those memories, and keep reminding yourself that a) your aunt dabbled in illegal substances on occasion b) she had some professional training and natural skills in these matters and c) her hair fell all the way down her back--EVEN WHEN IT WAS IN FULL CURL MODE! This is an important detail. There is a lot more room for error when your hair is that long. If you singe a few inches, your scalp will not be blistered and you still have long hair. Your bob does not have that flexibility.

Also remember, your scalp is your friend. Any damage to it can distract you--or send you to student health for medical treatment. Should this happen, you will be instructed not to 'treat or style' your hair until the blisters have gone away. This will guarantee you many more bad hair days. The blisters on your ear will garner stupid jokes such as, "Your ears must be burning!" from every idiot on campus and thwart your attempts at dignity for at least two semesters.

If you must wave hot metal close to your head, choose the kind of iron that is designed for hair styling, known as a "Curling Iron" or "Flattening Iron" as appropriate. These gizmos are fairly inexpensive and easy to find at your local drugstore or beauty supply shop.

In conclusion, irons, alcohol and hair don't mix. ESPECIALLY the iron.


TK said...

irons, alcohol and hair don't mix

You know, I would've thought that to be self-evident...

girl with curious hair said...

The sad part is, I wasn't the inebriated one in this little scenario. She had an excuse--I was sober!